1. Apps. For God’s sake, people, just say appetizers.
2. Housemade. I understand that the restaurant is “the house,” but this one is so painful to the ear. A restaurant is not a home, but I would rather tolerate the mild cognitive dissonance of “homemade.”
3. Spoom. Who could say this word without laughing? Just use the Italian and say “spuma.”
4. Quinoa. There’s nothing wrong with quinoa. It just forces me into the uncomfortable position of not correcting people who pronounce it “Kwin-o-a.”
5. Terroir. I actually like this word a lot, but it gets thrown around so much it makes me sick. “Why do I taste gasoline in this red wine?” “It’s because of the terroir.” Puh-leeze.
6. Eats. [Spoken by a white Northeastern-dwelling individual, rubbing hands together in a down-homey gesture of enthusiasm] “Let’s git us some eats!” Please don’t.
7. Dish up. Another Southernism. It means, “Come and serve yourself.” But by the sound of it, you might as well be calling the hogs to the trough.
8. Food porn, food orgy, and related terms. Just...gross.
9. Rigott. The supposedly Italian pronunciation of ricotta. Moots-a-rell might be even worse.
10. Locavore. It’s a lovely concept, but get over yourself.
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7 comments:
Ha! LOL!
I know how to pronounce quinoa properly and still just hate saying it. It's impossible not to sound like a total snot.
I'd add "artisan" to this list. If a loaf of bread says artisan on the outside, you can't bet it isn't artisan on the inside.
Agree completely on the "apps" thing. Appetizers is not a long word.
In defense of #9, I think that's the Sicilian pronunciation.
Totally with you on #8. "Foodgasm" makes me curl up in a ball and die just a little inside.
Darla: You're right--if it's actually artisanal, it probably doesn't coming in packaging stamped with the word "artisan."
Jake: Those (#9) do originate in Sicilian/Neapolitan/Southern Italian dialect pronunciations. I'm fine with it if you are a speaker of the tongue. If you were raised speaking English in New Jersey, however (ahem), you might want to avoid them.
Adele: Thank you for understanding.
How about pra-zoot (I can't even make a phonetic version of this horror) for prosciutto?
"pro-ZHOOT!"
This post was very funny, and I couldn't agree more with the Italian pronunciations. I hate: overly minimalist menus (trout. lamb. chicken.), when people feel the need to say that something is "fresh," when the default of the thing should be fresh, and the word "dining," esp. paired with "fine." Brendan hates "meal," because it sounds like we're horses with our heads in a trough, and the phrase "make some food."
A good alias for a food writer would be Joaquinoa Phoenix.
I'm intrigued by the debate between "rigott" and "ricotta." I recently got into a row with a friend over the way I pronounce hummus and tahini. Having spent a lot of time in the middle east growing up, I say it with an Israeli accent: "Choommoos" and "Tachena" (Ch= the gutteral "h" sound.) She's quick to remind me that we are in the US and I should pronounce them like an American. For me, I think they should be pronounced as close to their authentic origin as possible -- as respect to the culture of where they came from.
Granted, I do say ricotta, and not rigott.
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